As a female solopreneur, I’m sure you have had your fair share of struggles and obstacles to overcome. Some of you might have wondered whether you are able to manifest anything significant while working through some heavy stuff. And my answer is: YES. Of course, you can. Read below why.
I wish I had the time and the space to tell you about all the curveballs life threw at me once I had opened my healing & coaching business in 2012.
Barely a year went by where I didn’t have to deal with heartbreak or other problems looking me right in the eye, tampering with my mental health and wellbeing. As female business owners, we have to navigate tough moments like everyone else, of course. However, we might feel more vulnerable because when we need a longer time off our business, we fear losing income, clients, or the momentum we had worked so hard toward.
Regular things can throw us off such as (but not limited to):
- The angst and grief of witnessing loved ones getting severely sick
- Relationships ending or the realisation that we have been single for “one more year” or longer, rapidly giving up hope that love will come and find us
- Weird pandemics happening that we obviously didn’t see coming
- Not being awarded the “best stepmom award” you had hoped for
- Going through a chronic illness or mental health struggles
Why being a female solopreneur is most likely one of the hardest things you’ve ever done
This topic is so important to write about because being a female solopreneur already is probably one of the hardest things we ever signed up for (apart from being a mother to which I said “no way, Jose!)”, so if you are a mum AND a self-employed, you have my everlasting respect!)
- The insecurities of our monthly income
- the endless cycles of feeling like an imposter
- feeling like we should be far ahead with our business
- the debilitating “comparasonitis” we are prone to feel while scrolling through Instagram Reels to see younger women in our same niche rocking it with thousands of followers
- the realisation that we can’t run our business with an “employee mindset” but need to put our lady boss CEO hat on (but then we can’t find that damn hat or feel like an imposter for wearing one and revert back to behaving and thinking like an employee)
- the realisations that we have far too many limiting beliefs in place and ancestral yucky junk in our DNA that’s keeping us playing small and at a low vibration (Read my blog on ancestral baggage and epigenetics).
The list goes on and on.
Questions to ask ourselves:
How do we show up powerfully and sustainably in our business as a female solopreneur, when, on top of the struggles we already face in our business sometimes, life seems to be tough and we are working through some stuff?
How do we avoid practicing toxic positivity and bypassing of our genuine emotions, while also not allowing ourselves to delve too far into our pain and traumas and maybe even re-traumatising ourselves?
How can we show up for our family and loved ones who are sick or suffering and be a force of strength, while not forgetting our own needs and mental sanity?
These were some of the questions I asked myself in the last decade.
A lot of spiritual self-development coaches and disembodied healers will make you believe negative emotions are toxic and that they carry a low vibration. Far from it.
So here are my 3 tips to overcome hard times while keeping your vibration high as a female solopreneur
1) Never ever repress any of your emotions
Repressing negative emotions lowers your vibrations.
Not allocating your emotions the healthy space they need to be felt, acknowledged, and then lovingly released, lowers your vibration.
Isn’t it crazy to believe that we come down here as souls to have a human experience, which is inevitably designed to be a flawed experience for our soul’s growth?
Don’t you think being human difficult by nature and our very existence prone to bring us to our knees again and again?
Isn’t it absurd to believe that there is a higher power expecting us to smile and practice positivity, gratitude, and forgiveness around the clock, even prematurely when we didn’t have time to digest or process what was going on yet?
I came to the conclusion, after many soul-searching years, (believe it or not) that yes, it is crazy to expect ourselves to be positive and optimistic and full of energy at all times, and if that is what you subscribed to, then this is the exact belief you need to examine and dismantle and release as soon as possible.
Feel your feelings
Each time I had to work through something, I allowed myself to feel what it is I was feeling. I gave myself ample of space to sit with sadness, anger, or frustrations. My journal became my best friend, silent therapist, and sacred space holder.
Admittedly, sometimes life fucks you up real bad, so you need more than a journal (trust me!). I invested in therapists, coaches, healers, and yes, in my late teens, help also consisted of anti-depressants for a few months.
Different things work for different people. The importance is that you know what the practices, rituals, and tools are that you will use when you don’t feel well and are going through a heavy period. That and the ability to ask for help when you need it. Sometimes we can’t cope with heavy stuff on our own, nor should we.
And that’s especially the case when you are the primary caretaker of someone with special needs or someone who is sick. If you are worrying about someone else, you need to make your own well-being a priority, as you know very well, just like I do, that we can’t serve from an empty cup.
2) Know and believe that you can still powerfully manifest things into existence even when you are working through stuff
If you, like me in my early days, get paranoid about “feeling the feelings” and screwing up all your big manifesting efforts, take a deep breath now. 🙂
I can assure you, from my personal development journey and from accompanying other female solopreneurs on their complex journeys, that no one screwed up their co-creation and manifesting mojo by allowing themselves to focus on their human emotions and by working through some heavy stuff.
On the contrary. Step 3 in my book “Universe & You: 11 Steps To Co-Create The Life You Desire” is all about giving ourselves the space to heal. To release. To feel. It’s an essential step in the manifesting journey.
Believe it or not, but just visualising, pseudo-believing it, and creating vision boards won’t cut it for most humans dealing with complex lives, traumas, and stuck energy in form of trapped emotions that weren’t dealt with when they occurred. Same for women who have past life karma in the way of their manifestation.
This is why I created a whole powerful 3-month healing program, “Heal Your Past”, to assist women in releasing what’s in their way from their past.
You can manifest powerfully, always!
I have co-created a successful business from its first month of existence (out of sheer necessity as otherwise I would have had no money to pay for rent, health insurance, and food) right after a painful breakup.
I manifested my current partner, a soulmate connection, 6 years ago, right after a massive heartbreak too.
This is to show you that even when you’re feeling at your lowest, heartbroken, or grieving for whatever reason, you can still manifest AMAZING things.
Same for one of my clients: she co-created a 250.000 USD job while navigating a current job under a narcissistic boss and many other health problems she had been facing.
Another female solopreneur manifested a new home, a partner, and a new job all within 3 months, all the while navigating her healing journey as a victim of sexual abuse, on top of the frustrations of being stuck in a toxic job.
And these are just a few examples.
3) Love & Accept yourself right now, no matter how messy you feel
While I don’t use neither Reiki nor EFT anymore (because I channeled my own healing system), what it did give me back then was a safe space to know that I can “deeply and completely love and accept myself” the way I was. That’s because this was one of the main affirmations we needed to repeat while tapping on different points on our face during an EFT session.
So, here is your permission to feel whatever it is you need to feel along with the knowledge that you can love and accept yourself through this sometimes messy thing called life.
What you should not accept, ever, is anyone telling you to be “high vibe” and repress your emotions when what you need to feel is your anger or sacred rage. Just know when it’s time to feel things, and when it’s time to release with love.
You are still a powerful co-creator when working through stuff.
6-week “Abundance Accelerator” Program so you can manifest more Impact, Profit & Success in your Biz
I will teach you a tool to easily and effectively access your subconscious mind to find and release trapped emotions, as well as, past life karma, ancestral baggage to remove intergenerational trauma, etheric cords binding you into dysfunctional relationships, cords to the negative parts of the collective field and much more.
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