About Past Lives & Why Soulmate relationships don’t always necessarily last

Mar 14, 2018

A black couple in a soulmate relationship, smiling at each other, head to head, in a difficult karmic relationship that won't last

I’m sure everyone reading this has either already met a soulmate, has been praying to meet one or cursed their past soulmate relationship that went horribly wrong. I went through all these scenarios.

As a past life regression therapist and expert on karmic relationships, I wanted to share my own personal story with you to bring some awareness to how important it is that we are emotionally, and above all, spiritually ready to meet a soulmate.

So, what are these soulmate relationships?

They are part of our eternal soul family. We incarnate with them again and again but in different constellations. Your soulmate could be a romantic partner in this life but in a past life your mother, or your sibling. It could be your teacher or your best friend. And not always do these lives end well. We accumulate karma based on how we behaved toward each other.

I had a female client who came to me because her husband had been having an affair and she wanted to understand whether she had accumulated karma with him in a past life.

She saw herself as a man in the UK, married to a woman who he didn’t love. He started an affair for many years. His wife died young and he never even regretted what he did to her. When she came out of her visions, she fully understood that she was repaying karma in this life. What we reap, we sow, literally. If not in the same life, then for sure in a future life.

Stories of betrayal, any form of abuse, tragic deaths, or losing one’s kids or loved ones in a traumatic way in a past life, might all contribute to how you are experiencing your current relationships and circumstances.

I had a client where I had visions of her twin brother drowning in a past life. She then confirmed that in this life she had recurring nightmares of loved ones drowning.

So, here is my own story of how I met my soulmate and what happened:

I manifested him. I wrote a list of two pages of what I wanted, how I wanted to feel with him, and what attributes he would have. Two days later I met him online.

He flew to Geneva from Germany to meet me twice and we spent a lot of time talking and getting to know each other. But we weren’t ready to “date” yet and decided to be friends for a while.

We went on a holiday together for a week right after we met, and found it strange how close we were.

Two weeks later, I started to behave oddly. I suddenly had the urge to listen to classical music which I very rarely do. And even more bizarrely, I started to dance like a ballerina in my living room. (I never had ballet lessons in my life!)

Later that day I had visions of a past life in Russia where I was a professional ballerina. I had an amazingly handsome male dancing partner I was very much in love with, and I was longing to be with this man for years. He was married so I was hoping one day he would leave his wife. We started an affair but it was horrible. I didn’t enjoy the secrecy, and the betrayal of his wife and on top I became pregnant. He didn’t want to leave his wife. As I couldn’t earn a living as a dancer anymore due to being pregnant. Out of desperation, I committed suicide.

I knew exactly who that male dancer was in this life: my new male friend.

I talked about my past life visions in a video that went out to my newsletter subscribers that he also received. Even though I hadn’t mentioned his name, he said:

“I know that was me, that dancer. Do you know what I have been doing this past week before I saw your video and before I knew you had been dancing like a ballerina in your living room? I was researching ballet plays for us to go and visit in St. Petersburg! I wanted to see the Swan Lake.”

He also had downloaded the Swan Lake music and had cried when listening to it, and didn’t know why.

Both of us, at the same time, tapped into that past life memory. While I had clear visions, for him it was more on a subconscious mind level, by wanting to go back to Russia and watch ballet with me.

Why we need to heal our traumatic past lives so a karmic soulmate relationship can last

What followed, was me going through a long healing period by clearing the trauma from this past life and forgiving him and myself for taking my own life. I had to work on my fears of not being good enough to be with him. I had to let go of my fear of not being able to trust him.

He went through a healing phase, too, having had to heal the “guilt” and the sadness he felt after he understood what happened in the past life. He would like to share the following:

I wondered for a long time why Lais felt so familiar to me and why my emotions were so intense. I felt so close to her albeit our very different life paths in this life. Once this past life came up, I worked on my feelings of guilt, so that this relationship wouldn’t start because I felt I owed her something or that I was merely “clearing a debt”. Because of the knowledge of this past life, I was much more conscious of our potential trigger points and Lais’ fears. I released my own fears while understanding that there is a “circle of our soul’s life.

After five months of meeting one another, after consciously healing this trauma together, we were ready to be together and have been ever since. I just moved to Germany to be with him.

I have many more stories of couples that never made it past the initial honeymoon phase where soulmates recognise each other and feel they have known each other for eternity. They go through an intense dating period with the highest of highs, believing they found “the one”. But, if it’s a true soulmate, and there is accumulated karma from past lives waiting to be healed, both partners will need to be emotionally and spiritually mature to deal with the heaviness of what’s to follow after the first blissful moments.

There will be forces stronger than love that will bring all your fears and unresolved issues to the surface.

You will start triggering each other with your fears and project your “issues” onto each other. Usually, there is a runner and a follower. The runner succumbs to his/her fears and ends the relationship, while the follower will always try and make it work, and try and get the partner back. Many times this ends up being an on-and-off relationship that is more painful than blissful, and when it truly ends, it leaves both partners empty and questioning everything in their lives.

For anyone reading this who feels they are in an on-and-off soulmate relationship, here is my advice:

  • Don’t just point the finger at your partner. So many times I hear my clients saying: “My soulmate did that or he didn’t do this, it’s his or her fault.” In reality, the two of you are sitting in the same boat and are playing out karmic agreements between you two. The only thing I advise is to do deep inner healing work. Go back to yourself, and look at where your own shadows are lurking. Look at your fears and your limiting beliefs around love and life in general. Do your own work.
  • Don’t force your soulmate to embark on a healing journey if he/she isn’t ready for it. So often I work with women who want their partner to become more conscious, to do past life healing, or to do any form of therapy. You won’t achieve anything by pushing them. You will achieve just the opposite. Especially if it’s already been an on-and-off relationship, very volatile in nature, and your partner is usually the one to “run away” 
  • Not all soulmate relationships will last or were designed to last. Sometimes they came into your life for a purpose.
    • to get you out of a toxic marriage
    • or to awaken you to your full potential for love
    • to make you embark on a different soul journey
  •  Be grateful for the time you spent and learn the lessons behind it. How did you change after you met your soulmate? That’s your biggest gift.

If you do make it work, congratulations. Remain conscious, the two of you, keep the communication open and express your feelings and fears, always. Do your inner work continuously. Soulmate relationships will always trigger you, and it’s your opportunity to go deeper than ever before. And each time you thought you did the work, more will come up again. So get used to it. It’s not for anyone looking for an easy relationship where you get to “rest” a lot.

If you would like an in-depth past life reading about your soulmate relationship, you can book it here.

If you are interested in a remote past life regression where you get to see your past lives under hypnosis, you can book it here

Written by Lais Stephan

Lais is a healer, channeler & Space Clearing Expert together with her mum Heloisa.

She is the Author of “Universe & You: 11 Steps To Co-Create The Life You Desire” and a poetry collection “Wild Women Rising”.

Learn how to manifest with 12 powerful meditations

You may also like…

manifest more impact, profit and success in your biz